I was spending my time on an old mid-century dark green couch with springs. I was about 7 years old…  

The couch was my playground for the next hour or so. It was a consequence for something I didn’t do right…

I was sitting, laying, jumping, rolling, hanging and bending… and when I finished doing whatever was possible to do on that couch, I melted into doing nothing…

and at the peak of that “boredom” I suddenly “saw” my whole life that was laying ahead of me (like a future flash). 

As I was watching myself grow and change, one thought kept growing louder and louder: 

“I don’t want this kind of life!!!!!” 

The thought turned into a feeling of panic. Almost claustrophobic. Because of despair of how boring, flat and liniar my life is going to be…. 

And in the middle of this unexpected inner chaos I heard a voice inside myself. 

The voice was sweet and calm. And it said: 

“It doesn’t have to be anything that you don’t want it to be. 
In fact, your life will be exactly how you choose it to be.” 

Hearing it stopped me in my tracs because I knew it was my own thought but it had an adult presence of confidence and loving authority. 

I decided that it’s too creepy and that I should forget about it as soon as possible.  

And so I did. 

Or so I thought…

because my life wasn’t near as boring, flat or linear…

nor was it exciting or fulfilling…

Instead, it was filled with turmoil, abuse, deprivation, betrayal, addiction, fear, loneliness and lack of belonging… 

It was filled with UNCONSCIOUS LOVE. 

I sure did choose all of it, unconsciously. 

Since that moment on the green couch I’ve moved to 2 different countries: with a different language, a different culture, a different religion. 

Most difficult part for me was to get accustomed to the culture, traditions, reasons people are getting together, reasons to celebrate and love… 

Many years were spent in imitating what I saw – just to survive and find some belonging. 

But once I realized that the only constant in my life is MYSELF – my body, my heart and my mind – the rest became a breathtaking journey from lack of belonging, imitation or being scers? if you will,  towards manifesting and LOVING CONSCIOUSLY. . 

I did it through learning to accept and trust myself in attempts to create what I came here to create.

Life is mysterious, we are looking into the unknown every day, every moment…

We don’t have to deny it, we don’t have to experience life as something heavy and full of obstacles to feel happy. 

The past doesn’t have to keep playing in our present like a broken record. 

It is not about what we must remember or fix, it is about realizing that the footprint of our manifestation is now in the making!